My Year of 2021

To continue the look back over the past year here’s a look back at what I tried in 2021.

The beginning of 2021 was a bit of a foggy blur. I was still deep in my healing from the tragedy that struck our family. I was consumed by grief and the world we were living in with social distancing and isolation just compounding that grief so sometimes it was all consuming.

And thus, I can’t tell you everything that happened in early 2021. I don’t even know what interests I had. My biggest concerns were my family and getting us through to help us heal. I reached out to counsellors and got resources to help me heal so I could be strong for my family. I think another round of remote learning for my son happened, who was in grade three at the beginning of the year.

Honestly, his whole school year for the past two years has been a blur of online-in person-then online again-back to in person-op we’re back online again. I commend all the fellow parents out there, rolling with these changes and the teachers that are trying to navigate it all. Mostly, I commend the children for still being little sparks of light in some strange and dark times. A reminder to hug your little ones and let them know you love them. We all deserve that much.

I do remember that in March 2021 I was offered my learning opportunity through work which really changed my day-to-day work habits and responsibilities. It’s a bit of a mixed bag for me. Because in some ways it’s been amazing to learn and see that side of the decisions made and work done, but in other ways I’m not sure if it’s where I want to go.

In 2020 I learned about MBTI, or Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Essentially you take a quiz that is available and answer a bunch of questions to find your “personality type”. Of course some will argue it’s pseudo-science. And perhaps it is. But it was still interesting enough for me to explore and learn more about. Why is this relevant?

Well, because according to the 3-4 tests I took it constantly came out as INFJ. Anyone that knows MBTI might go – oh! Because what that essentially means is I’m Introverted, while using my Intuition, Feeling and Judging “factors/traits” the most.

So suffice to say, if you believe in that “marlarky”, that I’m the quiet, introverted, compassionate one. INFJ’s are referred to often as the “Advocates” or “Counsellors”. Makes sense that I gravitated to a role in the government in the Social Services field. (Anything I say in these blogs is of my own thoughts and opinions and has no affiliation with my role within the government.)

However, having said all that, it’s hard to not associate part of my life with the work I do. And sometimes it is hard being so compassionate. It is hard helping those in the world, when you’re not able to help them in all the ways you wish you could. Something that was starting to affect my day to day.

I grew up primarily in poverty and relying on supports in our community to help our family. Now being on the other side of the desk, it’s surreal sometimes. It makes me question who I am and what I’m doing and why I’m there. Ultimately I want to help people. I really do. It’s part of why I share my stories. Because if me sharing my life journey can help just one person, well that’s pretty amazing.

I wish I had that growing up. Someone to let me know that I was going to be okay. I didn’t even think college was a real option growing up because I thought it would be too expensive and was only for really-really smart people with scholarships or it was only for rich people. It wasn’t until my older sister came by with a college brochure when I was 19 and told me to go to college that I realized it was even an option. And even then, I was the only one in college at the time of my friends (plus I was a “stepmother” to an infant child) so I didn’t do as well as I should’ve.

But to have learned that earlier and realized those options as a child. Perhaps it would’ve opened me up to different experiences. Perhaps I would’ve actually graduated and I would’ve ended up with a degree.

Of course, would’ve, could’ve, should’ve aren’t a way to spend your life. But also, if you don’t look back and sometimes reflect on where you’ve been, how can you get to where you’re going? Perhaps that’s too much of the INFJ in me. I’m a walking and talking conundrum. Even to myself.

To get back to the topic of this blog, I am grateful that I started writing my book in 2021 though.

I started writing in my blog again and started my new fiction book about my main character Ira. It was very strange that I had decided to name my main character Ira because I had researched female character names and looked at what the name Ira means. Ira was also a shortened nickname for my main character’s full name “Gaieva Ivera”. Shortly after having landed on the name Ira I ended up having an interview with a manager named Ira. It was such a strange way my work life synchronizes with my creative life.

Another example of this happening is with my senior manager. I have this blog “Deanna Christine’s Corner” and then my manager created a section in our work communication site for me to make updates and provide information to other staff called “D’s Corner”. It was such a funny moment of – oh! Life sometimes imitates art. Another synchronicity.

While I don’t know exactly where I am going and what I’m doing, I’m at least enjoying the journey. I enjoy dabbling in different interests to gain new hobbies and be creative. Reading, writing, and books seem to be at the centre of a lot of it. Sometimes I wish I could be a really funny and creative BookTuber or have a high engaging blog that millions read and enjoy. And other times I’m just happy being me and just enjoying the art and creative process of what I do. Ultimately I do this because I love it and love the creative freedom it allows me to write what I want, when I want with flexibility and autonomy.

And if you happen to be a reader that enjoys what I have to say, thank you for your time. I appreciate it. I hope you are able to find and follow your passions and have a most wonderful 2022. Shine bright happy reader!